i want to be the best. but reality is, i’m not and never will be. i’m not pretty, nor do i have the best body. i’m not stupid, nor will i ever be the brightest. i have friends, but i do not attract people to me like flames do a moth. what i lack in one sector i take comfort in another, but really at the end of the day, there’s nothing to particularly take solace in. all i really realize is that, this “being the best” mentality is going to be my downfall.
I hate people who go around telling everyone that the world sucks, their life sucks, and they “don’t deserve the shit” they get. - Anonymous There are annoying people like that I guess, though most of the time I just let it slide by me. Maybe you know someone who vehemently insists that the whole world is against them, but I don’t. Most of the time me, or my friends say it, I guess I just find it quite relative. To me, not having enough time to laze around and do nothing is such a ‘cruel’ thing, but to some of my other friends who are already way more busy than I am, I’m just being spoilt. I guess sometimes we all need to put things in perspective. That hundred bucks we spend on a kpop concert ticket could feed children in Africa for days, yet we’re not donating that money. I don’t know, my point may be off your comment, but in the end we’re quite self-centered, useless beings.
very often I ask myself, do I want to grow up and be special? Or be normal? it’s every child’s fantasy to grow up and do something big, or be someone admired or known. some days i sit down and wish that when i grow up, i’ll be rich, i can afford all the luxuries i want now but cannot afford. i’ll have an amazing job that would give me free time and i’ll be living the high life. but then somedays i think, if my life was so amazing, i might not be that happy, for there’s nothing to look forward to. if i was normal, sure life would be mundane, but there would be those “extravagant” holidays and special purchases that color your life. When i’m thinking about the former, I feel so stressed to do well in school. i constantly seek to improve and just thinking about the next school year makes me want to curl up in a hole. but then maybe wanting to be normal could be an excuse for not wanting to try. i don’t really know where i stand on this issue - but hopefully it’ll resolve itself.
do you really believe in soulmates? personally, maybe because i’ve never had such an experience, i don’t. I don’t believe there’s someone out there who can understand me totally: the reasons behind everything I do, and how I view myself. I don’t believe that there is someone who will accept my entire past and present, and not judge me for it - that’s why there are things i will forever keep a secret. Not only do i not believe, but for such a person to exist, the thought scares me. Someone who knows everything about you, a small step towards betrayal could go a long way. Just like how we go to different friends for different things: I have a friend to do crazy shit with, one to confide in, one to talk about intellectual issues about - i believe that’s the same. Maybe one day I’ll find a soulmate and look back on my current mindset mockingly, but at this point of time, no. I don’t believe in soulmates.
theprincemakesthepauper: independent but not free
Haha I’d actually use that phrase to describe myself. But I’d like to draw a difference between ‘independent’ and ‘free’. To me ‘independent’ is a characteristic - can you look out for yourself, get things done by yourself; whereas ‘free’ is a state, it’s either you’re free or you’re not, and most of the time that really doesn’t depend on you unless you take some drastic measures like emancipating yourself from your family or something. I guess independence without being free can be limited, but in some sense it’s also a protection? God knows I’ll probably be out doing a whole bunch of nonsense if my parents made me ‘free’, and sometimes, especially at my age, I might tend to overestimate how independent I can be and take a more one-sided view on things so this state of not being ‘free’ may actually be to my advantage.
But then again I’m like every teenager and when I feel like I’m being too restricted, I just do it anyway.
pearlredlights: doing what should be done VS doing what you want to do
obviously everybody would prefer to do what they want to do, but for me the question really only considers the result. sometimes doing what you want to do is the better option rather than doing what should be done. obviously if I always did what should be done and ignored what I actually wanted, I’d be leading a very repressed life and I wouldn’t be enjoying it very much, so to me the key is striking a balance. For less important things in which the result does not have as great an impact, or is less of a priority to me, sometimes I give in and just do what I want to do (eg if it’s a non-graded assignment I just procrastinate - bad, but true).
But then again there are shades of gray areas when doing what should be done is what you want to do. I don’t know if it sounds complicated, but like doing a good deed, you feel good inside sometimes what you do what you know you should be doing. Obviously you’re not approaching it with good intentions if you do what should be done in order to feel that “good feeling” but like any other habit it’ll slowly ingrain itself into you and then doing what should be done and doing what you want to just becomes a natural thing.
But back to the point, I’m a somewhat calculative person, I do a lot of things with mind the consequence and how it’ll affect my future choices, so that’s how I decide between what should be done and doing what I want to do.
in love with the person or the concept? when we say we love a certain idol or famous person, really to what extent are we loving that someone as a person, or as his concept: an actor, a singer, a handsome man, a humorous guy on tv?
where do we really know where the line is drawn, if it can be at all, between their concepts and their real persons?
humans can be so pathetic. when you asked if she wanted to go out, she declines and says she has stuff to do. but later on you’ll find out that she went out with her other friends, and you’ll think that she’s done you wrong and she has lied to you. but when you really think about it, she probably just doesn’t enjoy going out with you as much as you think, and her method of lying is merely to put you down nicely. wouldn’t it be refreshing if people just said “oh, you’re not my first choice so I’m keeping my options open?” then again no one really wants to hear that, so we can go back to being pathetic.
im not scolding people who have done it but i dont get it. if a giveaway is to thank your followers then you should add a clause : only if you have been following me.
but if you /open it up to new followers/ … then you’re just looking for followers right. .. actually theres nothing wrong with that lol except i just get peeved sometimes
